Wow! You Are Looking Smart

“Good morning Mohit. You are looking smart today. Seems like a special day ha?”, my neighbour commented while we were in an elevator, going down in the parking lot. I felt good. I had a good time and unknowingly got energised for the day.

It is said that “To praise is a divine quality”. When we praise someone, it not only helps the person but ourselves as well. By praising others, our consciousness also expands.

Scientifically also it is proven that, as we praise someone, Dopamine chemical gets produced in the brain. And Dopamine is the chemical, which directs our enthusiasm and interest in any work.

Recognition for good work releases dopamine in the brain, which creates feelings of pride and pleasure. The dopamine hit cements the knowledge that more of that behavior will create more praise, resulting in another dopamine drench, and so on. This way, our colleagues, kids, or students will do the desired work for us.

It is observed that praise reinforces high expectations. Once praised for something, next time, the person becomes conscious to score high or at least maintain the last level of outcomes. Praise is the motivator, which works on a few words and efforts. Effective praise helps in behavioral changes as well.

Here we should also note that to see the effects of praise, it should be genuine. If it is sarcastic or not genuine, it will not be effective.

Also, for praise to be more effective at work or even with our kids, the praise should be for what they have done and not for what they are. The praise should be for the efforts taken by your colleague or kid, but not for who he is. To explain more, we should highlight, “how hard the kid had taken efforts to get the particular result”. It should not be that “he/she is smart, that is why he/she got the results”.

This is my personal experience as well. Recently I analyzed this. During my schooling, I was a bright student. BUT during my engineering, when I was away from home, I lost my concentration and failed. We all were confused and concerned that how come a smart guy like me fails. If I think now, during my engineering, initially I had studied really less and I was in a thought process that I am smart and I need not study much. Here, I had forgotten that my smartness was in my efforts which I had reduced unknowingly. New places, extra travel, new friends, new culture, etc diverted me, resulting in failures. If I had been praised for my efforts, then I would have had dedicated time for extra efforts and not in other diversions. So, every praise should note efforts and results and not the person or the ability.

Carol Dweck, in her book Mindset, provides research that supports this concept. She found that if students are praised for their ability (“you’re so smart”), over time their effort and achievement decrease. But, if students are praised for their effort (“I can tell you tried hard and successfully read the paragraph”), over time their effort increases, as does their achievement. And this correlates with me 100%.

Praise the process and progress, not just the outcome. The desired outcome may be different, but the desired process or approach must be positive. And it should be improved for our and employee growth. Improving the process ultimately means improving the skills. And people with improved skills are always more productive. As we observe improvisation in skills, we can reward people with additional responsibilities. This motivates them and helps us as an organization.

A kind, a genuine, thoughtful compliment is like a form of magic — it has the power to turn someone’s day around in an instant and make them feel proud, happy, and appreciated.

Compliments are useful tools to nurture and enhance relationships. Ultimately it contributes to a deeper, more intimate connection. Compliments create positive energy! And like gifts, giving them can benefit the giver as well as the recipient.

In a Summary, To Praise is a Divine Quality, and we should develop this for the benefit of ourselves and the universe.